Cubed

Last night before bedtime, our son Zephyr got curious about a cheap Rubik’s Cube we had laying around. I think it was gifted at some point to one of us, mostly forgotten about, sort of a cheap novelty the kids would tinker with from time to time. Personally I’d never had any interest in learning to solve it.

Well Zephyr wanted to know. And boy did he want. to. know. We explained that we didn’t know how to do it yet and that it takes some time to learn, so naturally in response he demanded that I figure it out.

Challenge accepted. And so begins two-ish hours of general frustration, YouTube videos, Claude guidance, and stewing before finally I set it aside and went to bed.

I’m really good at learning things quickly. Maybe this is just how I’m built, or perhaps a nice side effect of being both insatiably curious and a fast reader—or maybe all of the above. But even being fortunate to have this innate learning ability, I find that I still often set impossibly high standards for myself.

I did not go to bed happy. I’m very comfortable saying “I don’t know” when I don’t know, but I do not enjoy staying in that mode. If I don’t know, I usually want to find out, as quickly as fucking possible. If I don’t know, I want the answer immediately, and I want to never forget the answer from then. If I don’t know, I want my answers like I want my UberEats—asap.

Now in my brain and in my heart, I know it is not reasonable to expect to go from “no clue” to “solved the Rubik’s Cube for the first time” in two hours. It might not even be reasonable in two days—I honestly have no idea. Or maybe I actually was slow picking it up. But it kind of doesn’t matter. The fact is that to let it put me in a bad mood is hilariously dumb.

This is quite literally a toy. It is a puzzle. It is supposed to be fun. My son asked me to figure it out because his entire life revolves around play and this looked like a thing to play with. And I turned it into a project and a reflection on my self-worth instead of just enjoying the process. Oops.

But being able to wake up with clarity and see this habit myself actually feels like a win. And you know what? Returning to the project toy with fresh eyes, I realized I can still learn things pretty quick… I solved the cube by 10am.