Rethinking Ambition-2⁠↗

The pendulum had swung so far in the opposite direction that my drive had evaporated in thin air. This only led to more self-loathing—I began to view myself as soft, lazy, and a waste of potential. Underneath these subconscious attacks was shame and existential dread. What if I’m going to be insignificant and just fade out?

I looked at people I used to respect, even friends, with skepticism and cynicism because their ambition seemed one-dimensional to me. I eventually quit Twitter for six months because I couldn’t take it anymore.

• How do I define ambition? • Where did that definition come from? • What’s my ambition in life? • Am I an ‘ambitious person’ or ‘a person with ambitions’? • How have my goals and values evolved over the years? • What’s calling me in this next phase of my life and career? • When I get there, what will I have that I don’t have now?

David Whyte nailed this in Constellations, writing, “Ambition left to itself, like a Rupert Murdoch, always becomes tedious, its only object, the creation of later and larger empires of control.”

To be ambitious is to be American. In fact, in a study concluded in the 1990s, 89% of Americans believed that ambition is “essential” or “very important” to get ahead. Individual progress is measured by power, fame, influence, money, so that’s what motivates the masses. If we’re not aiming for those things then we might as well pack it up and head for the hills. Ambition is an American value.

Ambition is an important value and idea that leads to incredible things when it’s attached to vocation, service, and progress, and detached solely from outcomes. It shouldn’t just be about work and making a dent in the universe. Ambition can be so much more. We can and should be ambitious about more things that we can imagine, and this doesn’t make us bad, greedy or evil. It means that we’re human and we aspire to change, to evolve, to create something different and better.

Here’s my new definition of ambition. I call it holistic ambition:

An intentional desire to be, become or create something new, better or different that is aligned with who we are and what we value. This could be designing a dream house upstate, ensuring your sick parents have a comfortable end of life, training for a half marathon, or being more patient around your kids.

If you limit ambition to the realm of work and career, you are short-changing yourself on what you can experience and what impact you can have. This new definition is expansive, inclusive and multi-dimensional. Ambition can permeate every aspect of our lives, such as family, friends, spirituality, leisure, learning, service, health, community, love, and creativity.

What drives this ambition isn’t money, power, status or accolades, but an idea and pursuit of birthing something new, expressing oneself, and creating something bigger than the self.

Doing-ambition is an ambition to prioritize the activity in your life because it enriches your life, and to value the process and the inputs over the specific outcomes and rewards. It can be applied to any activity—advocacy, running, meditating, writing, volunteering, and reading to your kids before bed. There doesn’t need to be a desire to be the best or successful. We do it because we enjoy it and what we gain from it even if that’s just a deep inner satisfaction.

“For a long time I thought I wasn’t ambitious, until I realized my ambition is to live a good life.”